Secret inside information on who Dick Socrates really is . . .
Dick Socrates was created in response to the global financial crisis, the New York AIDS outbreak of the late 70s and 9/11. He is the alter-ego of folk-rock legend, Carlton Spummer who is in turn the creation of former Commissioner of the Metropolitan Police, Sir Paul Condon.
Last known photo of Carlton Spummer
His lives unhappily with his infertile wife, Sarah in London. They adopted one child, Chips, who suffers from ‘mental rubbishness’ and is confined to a wheelie bin.
Aug 14, 2010 @ 22:06:46
I am sad that no-one has left comments to you in this section of the page where comments may be left! I draw your attention to it by writing in it now! My jovial nature and also inability to communicate easily in your language is indicated by my punctuation! I will probably now write a few more messages on posts of yours that I like in a failed attempt to spark up some correspondence in my lonely life!
In case it is of interest to you, I found your website through your shameless self-promotion in your profile on guardian.co.uk. I couldn’t fail to click on the name “dicksocrates”, I mean, come on, I bet Socrates had a dick and it is entirely likely he liked the word so much he would have taken it for a name if only the Greek for dick wasn’t something written in rubbish foreign letters.
I think that your “about me” on the site is either from Maya Angelou or maybe Ellison’s “Invisible Man”. I will not check this because facts are less important than the internet so facilely makes them out to be.
Aug 16, 2010 @ 12:02:49
Dear Jerrafin Ampoule (not THE Jerrafin Ampoule, by any chance?)
Thanks for your interest in whatever it is I do, though I was also panicked by it.
I had actually long forgotten that my presence at the Guardian was initially a publicity stunt, possibly because this blog has started to gather cobwebs, in much the same way as my home. Cobwebs not being proof that no one lives there, just a laissez-faire attitude towards spiders.
I imagine Socrates did indeed have a dick. I know I do and that’s half the battle.
Though I tend to radiate an easy air of natural superiority over the rest of the human race (second only to Melvyn “Lord” Bragg), I had not in fact heard of Maya Angelou or Ralph Ellison, which is hardly surprising as there are so many authors about, chances are I haven’t heard of most of them. Maya turns out to be a woman so I can safely forget about her, but the Invisible Man does sound interesting. I shall attempt to obtain a copy of it from my local library, which is to the best of my knowledge not racially motivated.
And now I must go as I have other things to do. They may not be any more important, but they are not this.